Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes' LiveJournal

my story of the day should go into the Ironic song by alanis morrisette. so all of yesterday i'm working on a project and i'm hurrying and hurrying cuz i needed to get shit done so i'm about finished at about 5am this morning......yeah that's the life of an art student......but anyways so i take my friggin little power nap cuz i gotta leave in like an hour......i hit the snooze one time......it goes on again.....i decide to turn it off and think to myself allright gonna lie down for 20 seconds and then i'm out the door for reals........hahaha try 2 hours! fucking aye i missed most of my class allready. i think i might have to drop this class and get into an easier one for my health and my well being cuz i can't lose this much sleep and be cranky everyday, people would be scared of me. welp week 2 down 14 more to go.

i allready have had my first all nighter and i'm not liking it. i keep getting scheduled for weekends to work and my bandmates don't understand the concept of me putting school first so what do they do, they schedule a show for this saturday fucking shit. i'm in a bad mood allready, its only week 2, how can i carry on for 4 months in this state of aggravation....i fucking swear, why can't i just be michelle branch's drummer allready. anyways its no fun to read an lj when i'm not fucking cussing up a storm riiighht?????? haha yeah that's what i thought. okay here's my scenario i have to put 18 projects into my portfolio by may.....each one takes about 3 weeks so as you can see they all bottle neck and stack up on top of each other. welp no use talking about the same shit over and over so i guess i'll end it there.

fucking aye titties, i'm outssss for now.

man i seriously don't know what the hell is up with missy's shenanigans. so yesterday night i get a call from her and i had mixed feelings about it cuz pretty much i'm on this road to trying to cut her out of my life but on the other hand i don't wanna burn any bridges cuz that's not in my nature to do that no matter how hurt i get. it just takes time for stuff. so she wants to know how i'm doing and such i tell her i'm doing fine and all and that i've got my band thing goin for me and she's like yeah that's so cool i wanna see you guys play and all that stuff. so i told her i'd invite her to shows when we get them. then she said "we need to hangout i miss you so much, i haven't hung out with you in so long its just not right, i miss talking with you" i was listening to all she was saying and i was just thinking how much of that is really true ya know? so after that she was like what are you doin tomorrow you should come to a halloween party with me tomorrow after you get off work, it would be great to hang out with you. so i told her i'd get a costume ready cuz she said i needed a costume. so like the fuck nut i am i got one together i was gonna be tiger woods and got some nike golf shit. i told her sure once i get off work i'd call her. so that was that i guess she redeemed herself for a while.......fast forward to tonight......i get off work call her twice no answer i leave a message and pretty much that was 4 hours ago.... no reply umm yeah i got stood up again. i'm soooooo frustrated i can't explain it. why would you invite someone and tell them all that nice stuff about them but yet you don't answer your cell or return a message????? what the hell is going on here somebody help me please, what the hell is she doing?

i seriously haven't figured her out yet. i've gotten stood up before by her but fuck after you tell someone you miss them and then flake on them the next night....what's the point???? why do i even bother to be nice to anyone anymore i fucking hate this shit.....the shit i've experienced these past months with her have been a nightmare. i thought shit was gonna really change for the better after last night's call but i was wrong. shit hasn't changed and this is yet another hypocratic moment where i said fuck it i'm over it but then i go back on my words and think hey maybe i should just be nice, it might work for me.32;atj;aselkjmawklmaskdf;sajdf i'm a fucking idiot i don't know what to do with missy or myself anymore. she keeps playing mind games and i cant tell truth from fiction at all. for once i would love for things to go my way with missy. the manner in which she treats me isn't fair as opposed to how i am with her. its pretty damn depressing that i am of no importance to her. i hope this shit comes around full circle and makes her life miserable. hopefully she gets fucked over for once.

time for an update cuz i'm sure no one knows what's goin on with me anymore....hell i don't know what's goin on with me anymore! so first off our house is done. it is amazing after all the crap and hardships i went through, camping for like 2 months, it was all worth it. i love everything about it, its all modern and we have new furniture and appliances, its like our house should be on cribs now. i need to make sure i get a good career so that when i'm ready to leave the bird's nest i'll be set to move into a birdhouse. next up on the list school...

welp i'm happy that i'm almost done with it, i graduate in spring 2006 if everyone's wondering. its just right around the corner. i'm stoked......actually friggin creaming my pants that i don't have to put up with college no more after june. i'm not saying college is bad i'm just saying you better be ready for it and know how much time and effort it takes to get all you can out of it. my parents have been waiting for graduation day to cut me off their life line of my allowance every month i just know it haha. well hey if they want me to do good in college i had to work less hours so i need that allowance income till i'm out. all these years since 2000 i've been wondering what's the point of it all and its pretty much a sense of accomplishment and independence that you're striving for. this semester is bad as far as work load is concerned, these portfolio classes are kicking my asshole. its not enough to have a degree in graphic design, we gotta have a portfolio of our best work, ridiculous but whatever, mine shall be badass hopefully. i looked at my next semester schedule.....i'm screwed more so than this semester, gotta go out with a bang. been trying to schedule out my weeks and days this fall season so that everything works out evenly but i find myself losing sleep every damn day.......that hasn't changed. big party and you all are invited when i graduate.....i am determined to finish this shit. so yes, still workin at the seafare, not so bad as before, i find that everyone enjoys having me there after i went on that 1 month hiatus cuz of my vacation and job searching. so work is actually fun now, prolly cuz i work only weekends now, not so many hours as before.



hmmm what else to touch upon oh yeah.....what's her name.....Missy? oh yeah that's it. let's see here, we can say that a)she's heartless b)she's heartless c) she's heartless or d)all of the above and then some. yeah i think the answer is d for this one. why you might all ask......why has this wound unhealed you ask, well yes me and my friend courtney were in the bookstore and we come across missy buying her books, this was a few weeks ago. we're talking and stuff it was good to see her i was pretty damn happy cuz i hadn't seen her for 2 months literally, pretty much ever since that one night when things went downhill i hadn't talked to her. no communication whatsoever and that was the sad truth. so yes we're all walkin and stuff and she starts rambling about these new cops at her work and how buff and nice they are and i'm standing there next to courtney thinking is she for real, is she rubbing this in my face on purpose??? are you trying to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit??? and courtney's brother is a cop and missy goes you should have your brother come to sunny hills hs too and visit me on duty. i'm not making any of this shit up, its pretty much what happened, i couldn't believe it. it was really awkward for me after that point and i was all bummed again cuz of her. shit i was doing fine over the summer and then that shit happened and once again i find myself bending over backwards for her to try and get her to hangout or to call me. missy just has this noose around me that i can't get off. i'm just really bummed that missy was not the girl that i had fallen for. i swear after that one night when we were talkin in the car i remember hearing her say and i remember this cuz it stood out in my mind "gibson i hope this doesn't change things between us, it would kill me not to have you a part of my life, we can still hangout and drink and have fun" ......that's when i was like whoa that's pretty bold statement to say how much importance i was to her......she pretty much hasn't backed it up. she pretty much has thrown me to the curb. she pretty much said and acted the way she did to save face and to make herself feel good. actually that's what it is.......that is what annoys me the most about this, she was a FAKE. i don't get how she can just ignore me COMPLETELY. i was never mean to her or disrespected her in anyway, my attention was always devoted on her and all the nice gestures i did to prove that i was willing to do anything for her to keep her happy were all sincere. this is all her fault she dragged me into this mess and started calling me and asking me out ever since she broke up with her bf. geezus, missy screwed me over big time, she's known me for 2 years i'm pretty sure she knew a lot about me and what pitfalls she might encounter if she pursued me. this is pretty much my theory, its like she was having that need for a guy to be around and so i was that nice guy to give her that attention until she found someone else and she pretty much did. my philosophy is simple, if you're nice to me i'll be nice back to you. ever since july she's been acting like a not so nice person for lack of a better word. i've been nice to her and i've acted like nothing happened in the past so that she knows i'm cool with the whole situation. i would seriously just let all this go if she would stand by her words and treat me as the important friend in her life that she needs, that's all i want to leave with, the friendship back to what it was. i see her grandparents and mom at my work, at el torito and even guitar center, cool peeps love em all and its good times when we meet, but have i seen missy at all......no. a;as;daasl;l;as;lsjdfa so frustrated....i would like for missy to stand by her words so i can get back on track with my life. i listen to that one mxpx song and i swear i relate with it so much "why am i in love with a girl that treats me oh so badly why can't i get over you". ehhhh enough of this, again i accomplish nothing dwelling on missy. can't get through to her might as well deal with it and try and cut her out of my life...... its her loss, and i'll be damned if i let her take my self esteem.

on the flipside of things on a happier note, in other news something new on the gibbers agenda......i have started a band with a few friends of mine.am i stoked???? FUCK YEAH I AM! i haven't played in a band forever, i have had many runs at it after up syndrome but now i'm actually goin full force with this one. everyone's serious about playing this time, finally. only fear i have is building a fan base, its gonna be hard to have people open their minds and get out of their comfort realms, i'm sometimes guilty of that myself. hopefully i'm hoping people take our music and enjoy it. i have taken a route where i can be more creative with my drumstyle and i guess you can say our music is acoustic rock/indie rock/ alternative. although i would prefer to play metal or punk its just not happening, no one i know wants to play it, sad times. but anyways i'm happy with the songs we've produced so far and hopefully this december we'll have shows that you can all go to and watch us.......oh the band name is called "the seasons". think of oasis meets goo goo dolls meets coldplay meets the get up kids if that makes sense haha. lots of mixtures. workin hard to get this band goin so i can have something else in my life besides graphic design to keep me happy.

that is all yo laaaaaaaates

back from vacation......the family vacations we go on just keep getting better and better. sooooooo much fun. took tons of pictures over 400 total haha, digital cameras are fantabulous. the carribean islands are fucking a paradise that i didn't wanna leave from. the tropical music and vibes and the ladies scantily clothed made me realize when i get rich i'm buying myself an island haha. we went to haiti, cozumel, caymans, and jamaica. the cruise was fun we were pampered from head to toe literally, 24/7. i'd leave my room and come back and EVERYTHING is all cleaned up for me. what a bitch it was to leave and come back here. i have so many worries whenever i'm in so cal. florida was pretty muggy, humid and disgusting. the theme parks were fun and the golfing was doooooppperz. this vacation was what i needed i'm not even stressed out anymore about most of the stuff i was worrying about, especially missy. this whole situation was pretty gay i decided. she turned me down for whatever reason is beyond me and that's fine cuz after being on that cruise and in the clubs i've realized there are sooooooooo many hot girls out there and i'm sure most of them have great personalities too. so now i have a new game plan for the years to come. i shall finish school most importantly, then i shall get a high paying job, then i shall move into a mansion and set myself up for a luxurious lifestyle. no more worrying about a relationship at this age. 23 is too young to get shackled up into anything fuck that! i think that's why i've fucked myself up for so long is becuz i'm always worried about finding someone. i'm not gonna rush anything anymore and just let my life's events take its course. the perfect girl will come around sometime and she'll appreciate everything i'm willing to do for her and the person i am...... but for now i've got too much fun ahead of me and i'm not about to waste my time on why a girl turns me down.

i have fucking allergies right now i hate it. as of right now we're redoing our house........the WHOLE HOUSE! its pretty much hard fucking work its like moving out. soooooo tired so yeah we have no kitchen for who knows how long so we gotta eat out everyday for the next month. ahhhhhhh but everyone can come see my room when its all done in a month or so.

slayer and killswitch engage was one of the best concerts i've been too in a long ass time. sound was badass music was badass the energy from the crowd was badass. we had the seat sections so we couldn't let out our aggression in the pit but it was still good. most of the bands did a tribute to my idol dimebag darrell and it was at that metal show that i realized i was not alone by the saddened lost of one of metal's best guitarist. after being in school so long i forgot the feeling of playing on stage and having the sound of my drums filling up the room. the sound of dave lombardo's drums through the speakers was amazing and when the bass hit you could fill that shit in your chest literaly! it was great, man once i get done with school i'm gonna go full force back into this music dream of mine. i'm gonna practice my ass off till then and hope to be one of the most influential drummers in music history.

paris hilton = my fantasy hottie = was at brea mall today = me working and finding no one willing to work for me = me missing my once in a life time chance to make out with her = me being a very unhappy camper = SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT = i will get over this until paris hilton films a sex video with me = which will be better = no night vision = the end

ya know what fuck bush, he's not my president. fuck his views. fuck all the people he's killed. fuck him for brainwashing this country into a constant threat of terrorism. fuck his oil companies. fuck that bitch. i'll be glad to see all the rioters egging his limo and protesting his re election on inauguration day. i'm pissed that i don't live in D.C. to throw a fucking rock at his ass. the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. no one cares about anyone else's lives but their's anymore in congress. bush doesn't realize he's not gonna wipe out every terrorist, he's gonna keep wasting the money on stoopid shit. why not try making sure everyone has healthcare bitch or something useful to the citizens of the country you preside over. its not about being republican or democrat or whatever, i just want to see a change in this country where war is not the only fucking solution and gaining capital wealth to be the richest motherfucker is not an issue.

i've come to realize that people are afraid of the truth and when they realize the truth they continue to ignore it like nothing ever happened. people don't wanna believe they live in a place that's not safe they don't wanna belive the leaders they entrust their lives with are shady evil motherfuckers. people aren't told to think logically or be reasonable. instead they are put down for their beliefs and called terrorists. i've heard enough shit from work, all the narrow minded fucks that only see one side and believe anything. "haha what now gibson bush won the people have spoken you're an idiot for thinking kerry would win" that is the kind of shit that pisses me off when people don't think for themselves but listen to everyone else for their views.

i have an art piece that is up on display at cal state fullerton for anyone interested in seeing a project on the fucking bush administration and their tyranny. i'm proud of it, one of my best graphic design posters by far and its up for anyone to see. hurray. i'm gonna keep voicing my opinion through my artwork and hopefully someday people will think for themselves and won't be swayed by fuck faced politicians.

so me and some buddies at work have come up with a new clothing line that we will design and print ourselves. we're calling it P.N.P. it stands for Pink Nose Puppies (aka boobies!) haha for 1 shirt i have a design of boobs with stars on the tittays with the PNP logo under it.......its gonna be great! we're gonna take the clothing lines by storm! P.N.P. for life!

so i listened to the new up syndrome songs, i'm surprised with them. they're good. i give props to marrs for not selling out with the emo/screamo/hardcore trends. it makes me cream my dickies when people stay true to da game. i didn't know what was gonna happen after the split but marrs actually got it together again. quazy mug.

P.N.P. Co. (*)(*)

so me and some buddies at work have come up with a new clothing line that we will design and print ourselves. we're calling it P.N.P. it stands for Pink Nose Puppies (aka boobies!) haha for 1 shirt i have a design of boobs with stars on the tittays with the PNP logo under it.......its gonna be great! we're gonna take the clothing lines by storm! P.N.P. for life!

so i listened to the new up syndrome songs, i'm surprised with them. they're good. i give props to marrs for not selling out with the emo/screamo/hardcore trends. it makes me cream my dickies when people stay true to da game. i didn't know what was gonna happen after the split but marrs actually got it together again. quazy mug.

P.N.P. Co. (*)(*)

so me and some buddies at work have come up with a new clothing line that we will design and print ourselves. we're calling it P.N.P. it stands for Pink Nose Puppies (aka boobies!) haha for 1 shirt i have a design of boobs with stars on the tittays with the PNP logo under it.......its gonna be great! we're gonna take the clothing lines by storm! P.N.P. for life!

so i listened to the new up syndrome songs, i'm surprised with them. they're good. i give props to marrs for not selling out with the emo/screamo/hardcore trends. it makes me cream my dickies when people stay true to da game. i didn't know what was gonna happen after the split but marrs actually got it together again. quazy mug.

P.N.P. Co. (*)(*)

ssssuuuuupperz! so lets see what i've been up to school school school oh yeah and working. this semester is a little bit more manageable my design classes are finally becoming more enjoyable. the projects finally have a purpose now i see with the real world. i just hope i land a good job somewhere so money doesn't have to be an issue and all i can concentrate on is drumming and paris hilton. geezus i was at the guess store and she was looking so hot in the ad by the entrance window. *drools* i have a friend that works for sony and maaaaaaaaan would i love to design for them, i'd be set for life. when its time for my internship i'm gonna ask him if i could be an intern there to get my foot in the door at least. that would be a huge thing to put on my resume. only thing is i'm intimidated becuz desiging for Sony is a job of mammoth proportions! so i've been sacrificing most of my time and concentrating really hard these past few semesters so i can succeed. i just gotta keep this level of motivation up for 2 more semesters and then i can relax big time. all the damn years i've put in college i'm so close to getting out, its gonna be a huge sigh of relief next year. anyways i'm helping out these two guys with their shirt designs and trying to get them out so here's a link to their site......shirts are pretty clever

http://ifyourenerdyandyouknowitclapyourhands.com/
 
Current Music: strungout

i have so much anxiety in me right now. i hate that feeling. the feeling of not knowing how well i'm gonna do this semester or if its gonna be more or less hell than the previous. ahhh i don't know how many times i've said this but i want out of school now. i almost dropped a class cuz i got scared after looking at the syllabus but the t.a. who i've met before talked me into staying. he told me this simple saying what you give is what you get. i'm not a quitter and i like to succeed so i made the very difficult decision of roughing it out. so doing all these hard classes will make me just that much better than everyone else in the field, i sure hope it pays off. just so stressful cuz i find myself as i get deeper into my harder upper level classes i find that there's not enough time in the day anymore and i just lose touch with everything and everyone. i want to do so many things this point in my life i can't keep up with everything and its frustrating. i wanna push my limits at drums, i wanna be able to have income to support myself and others, i wanna find a girl that likes me allready so i can do all the lovely things i've ever wanted to do, i wanna have a solid career, i wanna be good at basketball, i just want so many things accomplished its all overwhelming. indeed, i must say college is a true test of character and responsibility. it ain't fucking easy that's for damn sure. it is tough to get a degree and i will be proud of myself when i get that shit. its like i repeat this same paragraph with different words every semester. that just shows how much college is a bitch. i just hope the rest of this week turns out better. i need something to inspire me cuz everything is all a blur right now, i'm not ready for this semester yet dammit......i want summer back.
 
Current Mood: distressed

last week before school starts.........no comment.
so sad to see summer go by, each time it goes by i know that hell awaits. fuggit i gotta sack up and do it. what you give is what you get right? so i'm waiting to see if this one chick in my summer class is gonna be in any of my classes that should be dooopperz if she is cuz she is a hottaaay! talked to her a few times seems pretty cool. crossing my fingers on this one.

i really hate having a credit card. i really over did my spending this month. usually i figure out my income for the month before i decide my limit to charge. welp i got carried away and i have more debt than income. $300+ i'm so scared to check the exact amount. fuuuuuuck i think i just started myself into a hole, can't let that shit get any deeper. i haven't made profit from work ever. i've always been saving up for some luxury or hobby shit. never get a credit card cuz it'll get you up the ass eventually!

my sister's gotten a lot of ish this month. she got a rabbit and named it kayla actually nevermind cuz i asked her the day after and she said no its kaylie now actually nevermind that cuz i asked her the third day and she said no i changed it again its lulu so our rabbit is a schizo cuz it has too many names courtesy of joslyn. this mofo has a lock so he ain't gettin out like that little fuck poochie. my sister is going to see hilary duff with my mom. wtf? i'm friggin broke or else i'd have bought mine by now dammit. so my sis is so friggin lucky to see hilary *sigh sigh* fuggit i'll just wait till paris goes on the jimmy kimmel show and meet her, that is my next endeavor!
 
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: nelly my place

so i'm ditching class for the 2nd time in two weeks........... so lazzzzyyy but whatever here i am at the lab. so i'll just update cuz i'm borrrreeed!

not much has gone on except for saturday which was doooooooooooooooooooooopperrrzzz. me and a group of my buds all went to babydolls in pomona. i must say the vegas clubs are top notch but so cal has their hot spots. right when i walked in half of the dancers were sexy as all hell, skinny huge tits high heels eeeek so fantabulous! this place was actually fun. its better to go in groups cuz the gals go over to you more often. so to my advantage i got like 2 couch dances from a brunette and a blonde. both were fuggin hotter than fuck i couldn't contain myself haha these chicks weren't uptight they actually let me have some fun with them on the couch! so that was good times. after that night i thought to myself and i made a decision i'm gonna find a single hot ass stripper if its the last the thing i do! haha yaayuuuhh

G	Gloomy
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O	Odd
N	Neat

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HAHA! FUCK YEAH MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAKERS TAKE THE SERIES AGAINST THE FAGACIOUS SPURS!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOO STOKED I WON SOME MONEY FINALLY SO FUCKING STOKED ITS ABOUT TIME PAYMENT IS DUE UNLIKE LAST YEAR WHEN I GOT ROBBED AND LOST A SHIT LOAD OF MONEY AND I WAS PISSED THE WHOLE SUMMER. YUP YUP YUP THIS WIN IS WHAT I NEEDED I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW ITS QUAZY MUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

words can't express my anger right now. when you see your lakers just get killed two games in a row you start hurting. your heart turns to black and blue cuz its like they're not getting pissed off that they're gonna lose this series if they dont' get revenge! come on its like i have more passion in them winnning a championship more so than themselves! i fucking hate it, put me in a damn lakers jersey and sit my ass next to the laker girls and i'll show everyone the heart of a champion. i'm seriously pissed as always when they lose but now i'm getting scared cuz if i lose money again this year you can damn well bet i'm gonna take my rage out on everyone and everything!

look at this shit its disgusting how people are being persecuted for trying to speak out and make a difference!...............

Secret Service Investigates 15 Year Old High School Student's Anti-War Drawings -
Shockingly, big brother does not find WMD - just simply good 'ol fashioned free speech!

Secret Service agents questioned a Washington State high school student about anti-war drawings he did for his art class.

The Associated Press reported that one of the "pencil-and-ink drawing portrayed Bush as a devil launching a missile, with a caption reading ``End the war on terrorism.'' The 15-year-old boy's art teacher at Prosser High School turned the drawings over to school administrators, who notified police, who called the Secret Service."

The AP continued, "The school district disciplined him, but district officials refused to say what the punishment was."

The picture in question even called for an end to the war and this public school called Secret Service out as serious matter of dissention?? Is the Secret Service supposed to protect us all from these dangerous thoughts of ending the war? Isn't Homeland Security Wonderful!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm seriously gonna cry right now. i think my stress has taken its toll. this is a friggin nightmare. since my friggin computer was broken all weekend i didnt get to work on my designs till last night so i pulled an all nighter. that was horrible cuz i get to school and i can't keep my ass up. so the minute i get home this past afternoon i plop in to bed no dinner didn't drink anything i don't even remember getting home i thought it was the previous morning. so i sleep and then i realize oh shit i was supposed to get dinner for the family, i fucking get up its 2am!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. i fucking have a project due in 5 hours how the fuck am i supposed to pull that off! and then as soon as i get home tonight i have a 5 page paper due tomorrow no late turn ins and then for my other class some 15 or so designs. i think this is the last straw i'm just throwing up my arms out in frustration!!! GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK PLEASE. and that's not all i have work and thurs and friday and then i gotta stick in some photo projects ahhhhhhhhhhh i can't take this shit anymore....its a fucking nightmare right now fitting everything in and i hate it. my schedule's fucked up, fuck it all as soon as semester's over i'm treating myself to a fucking shopping spree at the music store fucking shit!
 
Current Mood: stressed